Content Challenge: don’t edit things to make them “sound better”
If you can’t explain why they sound better, then you shouldn’t be writing content for $$
I used to tutor high school English, and the worst/best part was editing students’ essays. So many of them would receive their corrections and tell me “I can see that it’s better now, but I don’t know why”.
And my expertise was in telling the “why”.
I never said “it just sounds better” or “I just like this more”, that’s not constructive nor is it replicable. If you’re editing someone else’s work, or you’re writing for anyone that isn’t yourself, you need to be able to point out the precise points where your writing is good, and why it is good.
A lot of the time, the answer is in grammar structures. But don’t worry, this isn’t a lesson in “this grammar is good, that grammar is bad”. This is a lesson in “does this grammar even match?”
Let’s get a couple of examples:
Bobby from Netflix’s Queer Eye is the one who does the renovations, making over entire rooms and in particular said he was proud of the makeover from episode 3.
Bobby from Netflix’s Queer Eye is the one who does the renovations and room makeovers, and says he’s proud of episode 3 in particular.
Example one has a bunch of different tenses in it (doeS, makING and SAID), is longer, and just sounds manky. Example two still doesn’t sound amazing, but at least all the verbs match.
**as long as the verbs match, it doesn’t matter what tense they’re in**
Second example (taken from RamenWithFriends, I regularly edit #R1’s ramen reviews because he rambles, as you’ll see)
I eat a lot of Ramen (as you can tell) and I’m always trying out new Ramens which means I don’t always get to eat or write about the same Ramen over a short period/years. My annual trips to Melbourne have always included a trip to Mensousai Mugen however this time around I really wanted to have their Wafu Tsukemen again. The first time I had this was a few years ago (still early in my Ramen discovery phase and on another note by pure coincidence #R2 discovered the place as he was staying in the same laneway), I was blown away by just how unique and aromatic the dashi/pork/chicken triple broth was and it still stands vividly in my memory as one of the most surprising flavour at that time as strong seafood flavours was still new to the Ramen scene in Australia. The housemade wholegrain wheat thick noodles is still one of the better Tsukemen noodles I’ve had in Australia and whilst the toppings is very simple in the form of slow cooked chashu, bamboo shoots and seaweed, the real stars are the broth and the noodles.
I eat a lot of Ramen (as you can tell) and I’m always trying out new Ramens which means I don’t always get to eat or write about the same Ramen. My annual trips to Melbourne have always included a trip to Mensousai Mugen however this time around I really wanted to have their Wafu Tsukemen again. The first time I had this was a few years ago (early in my Ramen discovery phase), I was blown away by just how unique and aromatic the dashi/pork/chicken triple broth was and it still stands vividly in my memory as one of the most surprising flavours at that time, as strong seafood flavours were still unfamiliar in the Ramen scene in Australia. The house made whole grain thick noodles are still some of the better Tsukemen noodles I’ve had in Australia. The toppings are very simple, with slow cooked chashu, bamboo shoots and seaweed. The real stars of the dish are the broth and the noodles.
20 or so words deleted and the longer sentences were cut in half so the reader doesn’t have to retain as much information at once. When dealing with something that has a lot of lists (in this case ingredients and flavour descriptions) it’s important to not overwhelm the reader.
What I didn’t take away was his personal writing style, which he’s come to be known for. It’s friendly, uses technical words but nothing too difficult to understand, isn’t condescending or ‘holier than thou’, and he makes a point to only criticise constructively, although there isn’t much criticism in this example.
Here’s how I would write the same review in my own style:
As we all know, I eat a lot of ramen. Since I’m always trying out new ones, I hardly ever get to eat the same bowl twice. I also always make a point of visiting Mensousai Mugen every time I go to Melbourne, and this time I decided to have the Wafu Tsukemen. I haven’t had this since I first got into ramen a few years ago, and at the time I was blown away by how unique and aromatic the triple broth of dashi, pork, and chicken was. It stands out in my memory because strong seafood flavours weren’t very prevalent in Australia just yet. The house made whole grain thick noodles are some of the best in Australia, especially for specifically Tsukemen noodles. The toppings are slow cooked chashu, bamboo shoots, and seaweed, but I really think the broth and noodles are what steals the show.
It’s actually another 10 words shorter than the edited version above it, and has 7 sentences (original had 5, edited had 6).
SO HERE’S THE CHALLENGE
Rewrite one of your own blogs using the following tone briefs:
- Super corporate, technical, clinical
- Bubbly, optimistic
- Glass half empty, pessimistic
Lots of Medium blogs are written in a ‘peer to peer advice giving’ style because that’s what gets clicks. It’s also how I wrote this blog, but that’s actually because I’m a lazy writer who only blogs for themselves when I’m annoyed at something and I recognise that people won’t change their habits because I yell at them, they’ll change because I get on their level and explain things with patience. So even though I’m rage typing, I still make sure my tone is helpful and informative.
So, go challenge yourself to edit yourself without using your personal tone. If you struggle to do it, it means you need to practice your craft a little more in order to level up.
P.S. in the off chance you’re super into reading about ramen, check out www.ramenwithfriends.com/blog and follow them on Instagram — @RamenWithFriends
